


A Beast in a Cage

by StarScreamLoki



Category: Loki - Fandom, Loki MCU, loki marvel
Genre: Darkness, Frost Giant, Gen, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki Feels, Monsters, comfort/hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 15:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14835083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarScreamLoki/pseuds/StarScreamLoki
Summary: What happens when all you want is to give in to the monster inside you.





	A Beast in a Cage

All Loki wanted was to relish in the pure power of the universe, but he could not, for his mind was a cage of its own.  
Ever present, never stopping, always working. The rattling of his brain made him crazy, the cogs would never cease to spin. Always the thinking, always reflecting, it made his head spin. He wanted to shut it down. If only for one day, one hour, even a minute or a second.  
If only for one moment he wouldn’t feel as if he was being chased by himself. If only for one moment he could step out of his own shadow.  
His shadow? Or somebody else’s?  
His mind was reeling.  
The battering. The humiliation. All the pain, the hurt. The endless shame. Nothing would ever be able to diminish it. Nothing would ever be able to stop it.  
Nothing?  
There was only one thing able to stop it, and yet he choose not too.

Back against the wall, clawing at his own skin. A scream frozen on his lips, no more air left in his lungs. Blood dripped on the floor and stained his bare feet.  
His mind wouldn’t give him one second of room to breath. It wouldn’t ever because nothing would be able to slow it down.  
Nothing?  
Wrecked with self-loathing he slumped to the ground.

A hand stretched out to him but taking it would be poisonous. Yet it called to him, its allure screaming his name.  
Loki. Loki. LOKI!  
He was tempted. So tempted, but he could not. Could he?  
Hesitantly he reached out and when he touched the hand, it turned to smoke. His eyes widened, he mind screamed. He had wanted it but now it was taken away.  
A scream, filled with the raw power of agony escaped his lips and knocked the air out of his lungs. But the smoked lingered there and when he inhaled, desperate for a breath, the smoke touched his tongue and the world tipped in front of his eyes.  
It was dizzying, but delicious and sweet. A wave of pure extace washed over him.  
His eyes rolled back and breathing became heavy.  
He relished in it, never wanted to get out, only wanting to drown forever in the feeling.  
The cogs had stopped spinning and the ever present pain was no more. Finally everything was silent for once.  
But the moment was fleeting and when it was gone, everything went in overdrive.  
Nothing could ever make it go away.  
Nothing?

The colours exploded in front of his eyes.  
The sounds pierced his eardrums.  
He tasted blood in his mouth.  
His skin crawled.  
The smell of death filled his nostrils.  
His mind played tricks with him and he heard the beast roar. He felt its claws raking the inside of mind, of his soul.   
The ever present beast with the coldness of a black void. It wanted to take control.  
The creature of Ancient Winters. It wanted to freeze his blood.  
The monster of Frost. All it wanted was to devour him.  
Nothing...

He wouldn’t be able to keep it at bay. Nor did he want to. Because that monster would give him all he wanted. All of it. All the world. Every realm. The entire universe.  
He wouldn’t fight it anymore. He didn’t want to any longer.  
He opened his mind and plunged into the cold, dark pit.

Falling.  
His screaming mingled with that of the monster.  
Falling.  
His red eyes opened and the heat of the air pricked his tongue.  
Ever falling.  
The warmth licked his skin and he welcomed the burning pain.  
No more.  
His legs gave in.  
His eyes rolled back in his head.  
He surrendered to the smell of death.

Stripped of his skin.  
Stripped of his flesh.  
A snarl escaped his lips.  
Blood evaporated.  
Bones snapped.  
A plea escaped his lips.  
But none heard.  
And none cared.  
A scream escaped his lips.  
His heart shattered.  
His soul was ripped apart.  
The darkness swallowed him whole.

And Loki realized that the taste of the universe is bittersweet.

**Author's Note:**

> This musing is about Loki battling his own mind and the Frost Giant within him. It is very dark, and - I think - a reflection of my current feelings.


End file.
